how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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