dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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