Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
