if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
