I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
