Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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