My boss' voice literally gives me gas
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
