any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
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He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
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There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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