Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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