my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
