In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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