We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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