Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
