She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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