isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
