I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
