NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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