he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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