My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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