Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
