I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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