i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
love makes seman taste better
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
