He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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