So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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