it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
