yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize