the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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