yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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