I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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