He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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