Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
