3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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