Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
