My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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