Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
