ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
