You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
