PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
