hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
seriously i just wanna be friends
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He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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