when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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