Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
