Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Someone shattered a urinal.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
