Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
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Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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