U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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