Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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