they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize