My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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