Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
