Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My liver just broke up with me...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
