You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
