Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize