I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize