i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
They have beer where we have blood.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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