I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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