HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You made out with two different species that night
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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