I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Never underestimate the power of titties
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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