I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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