1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
