SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
